What are Energy Vampires or Emotional Vampires Really? Beyond the hype

March 31, 2019

I see the topic of emotional vampires or energy vampires come up SO much now in articles, books, videos. It’s everywhere! Yet, what I also see is that in discussing this topic, a lot of different things get mashed together into one big blob of “aaargh, it’s toxic!” and that is not helpful, for anyone. […]

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The Trouble with Instant Connections

March 21, 2019

Instant connections can feel like the most magical thing in the world, right? You meet someone and something just clicks. You don’t even know what it is exactly. I mean, you barely know this person! But you just feel connected somehow. If only all of life could be so easy! When we feel an instant […]

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Two Big Reasons Why Being “Too Sensitive” is Completely Beside the Point

March 14, 2019

Other people need to stop telling you that you’re too sensitive – but they won’t. So, what’s left to do? You need to stop telling yourself that you’re too sensitive. Because those are the things that really hurt: the things that others say, that match what we feel deep down inside. If you truly didn’t […]

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5 Ways to Deal with Your Feelings Without Having To

February 28, 2019

There are a lot of ways of dealing with your feelings without actually dealing with them. Let me count the ways!     1 – Suppressing them   You seal them in a tiny black box and never look at them again. The problem? They’re still there. It’s like taking all your bills and dumping […]

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Why Awareness Won’t Solve Your Overwhelm Problems

January 17, 2019

I hear a lot of people talk about awareness. Awareness is a good thing. But what exactly does it mean to “be aware”? Being aware can be as basic as “I know this thing is happening, I am aware!”. It can even go as far as “I know when this thing is happening! I am […]

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How to Figure out What you Want as an HSP

December 13, 2018

One of the blocks to knowing what you want is often a voice that sounds like: “but other people need me to be X” “there is no time for me to figure out what I want, I have too many responsibilities!”, or even: “my head is filled with what other people want, what I think […]

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Five Common Misunderstandings About Empaths

October 24, 2018

1. I am intuitive, I know things about people… therefore I am an empath. Nope. There are different ways to “know” things. There are different forms of intuition and psychic abilities, being an empath is just one of those options. Empaths feel energy. Other psychic gifts can be connected to different senses: knowing things, somehow. […]

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Why Narcissists Get Stuck in a Negative Rut – and what you need to know to not get sucked down with them

October 20, 2018

This is for all the HSPs and empaths out there who see the sensitivity in a narcissist and relate a little too much. Especially when this person is the covert-narcissist victim type, there’s a lot of resentment, blame and superiority going on underneath the surface, but it won’t be apparent at first. Rather, covert-narcissists love […]

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When Trying to Make Things Work is Making You Feel Hopeless

October 11, 2018

For the creative world-makers it’s hard to hear that this is the way it is and always will be! In fact, chances are, you reject a rigid statement like that. Nothing, absolutely nothing needs to stay the way it is, and it shouldn’t! I applaud your creativity. I understand it. I have it. And I’ve […]

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Why You Endlessly Doubt Your Intuition

July 29, 2018

When something happens a lot, with a lot of people I talk to in a row, I know it’s something I need to write about. Recently, I’ve had a lot of conversations with HSPs who doubt their intuition. Nothing wrong with doubting! After all, there is such a thing as being too sure (and full of) […]

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The Missing Piece on Healing from Narcissists

June 28, 2018

There are a lot of helpful books and programmes out there on understanding narcissists. You can spend years in therapy talking about them and wondering why they did what they did and how they impacted you. But the missing piece is this: how does all this relate to you? At first, it’s helpful to focus […]

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Reader Question: Am I the Crazy One?

June 20, 2018

A reader wrote in with the following question: Am I the crazy one? I have been in a relationship with someone that may be a narcissist but I am confused. I was always someone that went out of my way to help people. I wanted it to be my mission and have made it so […]

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Self-Esteem is a Strategy, Not a Thing

May 27, 2018

Self-esteem gets thrown around a lot as if it’s an elusive “thing” that you either do or do not have much of. “Oh, you have low self-esteem” is used a lot as an explanation. When you have low-self esteem you put up with all kinds of abuse, right? But what exactly is self-esteem and why […]

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Sensitivity Minus Empathy is Narcissism

May 27, 2018

I hear from a lot of HSPs who write in to ask if their sensitive parent / friend / partner who is clearly really sensitive but who gets offended easily, is not open to other people’s point of view and demonstrates little to no empathy, is just a Highly Sensitive Person but doesn’t know it? […]

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Creativity and Stress Management Go Hand in Hand

May 27, 2018

When do you do your best work? Is it when you’re worn down and exhausted? Is it when you’re in fight or flight? Is it when you’re on an adrenaline high? Is it when you’re juggling so many different tasks and projects and responsibilities that you don’t know what is up anymore? Is it when […]

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You Don’t Have to Jump Off Cliffs or Build Your Wings on the Way Down

April 16, 2018

In the popular metaphor, nobody -ever- talks about what happens if you jump off a cliff, break your back get absolutely terrified of jumping and never ever do it again. In the spirit of making progress on truly life changing topics, how is getting injured and massively discouraged ever a good thing? So I believe […]

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Sensitivity is Not a Sign that You’re Wrong

April 10, 2018

Being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is quite the specialised topic. It’s a rather new concept and in many countries, it’s not really taken seriously, unfortunately. What this means is that there are HSPs worried about having phobias or anxiety disorders, when in actuality, they are overstimulated. They don’t realise there is something that they […]

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3 Common Approaches to Dealing with Narcissists – that keep you stuck

April 9, 2018

Dealing with narcissistic people is tough! Yet, without the right core strategy, it’s even tougher. So much so, that many people end up feeling like there’s no effective way to deal with narcissists and be rid of them at all. Here are 3 common approaches that are easy to get stuck in:     1. […]

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What does Being Empathic Really Mean?

February 22, 2018

Google says it’s: showing an ability to understand and share the feelings of another. “an attentive, empathic listener”. Makes sense, right? So then, what being empathic really means is understanding and sharing other people’s feelings. It sounds logical, yet when you look more closely, the processes that underpin empathic listening can be very diverse. So, let’s take […]

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What if you’re in Love with an Empath?

February 19, 2018

On a recent Clarity Call, this question came up. Thinking about it after the call, I realised I have a lot more to say on this, so here goes. Situational sketch: you’re in love with an empath, but nothing is actually happening. You’ve known this man (or woman) for months now, you see each other […]

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