12 Habits to Avoid Misery and Feel Better

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the world, you’re not alone.

Sadly, (too) many HSP forums and articles focus on how terrible the state of the world is, as a kind of “reason why” there is no way out of feeling bad.

Even worse, a lot of people seem to suggest (reading between the lines) that feeling stressed, burdened, put upon and freaked out is the responsible way to feel. That unless you feel stressed out, you are not seeing the world for what it is, and are avoiding your duty to humanity (or something like that).

Err… let’s rethink that. Because ultimately, nobody needs a bunch of sensitive Negative Nellies moping around watching Netflix all day. Or raging at everyone and everything. If you yourself are out of whack, what you do and how you influence people will be out of whack too.

That doesn’t mean you should always be “nice”. That’s not what true alignment and balance are. It just means that taking care of yourself comes first. When you are rested, clear about how you’re feeling, and aware of what you can and can’t do, you have a much better chance of succeeding, at anything.

There are a lot of ways you can take charge of how you experience the world, when you are willing to see it as makeable, and not just as “factually awful”  (which is fancy slang for being a pessimist).

Below are 12 ways how:

~ Number One ~

Include plenty of inspiration in what you info-feed yourself with. You are shaping what you believe and feel the world to be, through the information you absorb. Take charge of it.


~ Number Two ~

Don’t try to “save” someone who is doing all they can to stay miserable, you’ll lose the good fight and they will drag you down with them. Miserable people are freakishly strong.

(Sidenote: it can be really hard to actually spot people who are chronically miserable. If you are an upbeat person, you may “explain it away” time and again because you just can’t imagine someone really being stuck that way – read more here)


~ Number Three ~

It’s a waste of energy and it will kill your mood.

If everyone focuses on problems that they can personally address, a lot of problems WILL get solved. We all have our specific expertise and influence.

(This also means breaking things down: you can’t solve the plastic soup in the ocean, but you can make an effort to use less plastic. You can’t solve the whole problem, but you can be a contributor to part of the solution).


~ Number Four ~

Stay within your limits, don’t walk on your toes.

I know it sounds simple. It’s usually not. But it makes a huge difference.

(Which is why I also have a programme on defining and honouring your personal ACTUAL boundaries – which is usually not the limits you’ve been living by)


~ Number Five ~

Seriously, just don’t. Don’t let listening turn into listlessness.


~ Number Six ~

Your life is happening right here, right now.

Practice focusing on your own affairs. You’ll get more done. You’ll feel more present and empowered.

Getting too wrapped up in other people’s lives becomes its own kind of addictive distraction.


~ Number Seven ~

Your health is all you have. You need it for everything. A healthy lifestyle can go a long way to making sure your body stays up and running.


~ Number Eight ~

Don’t swallow them down without chewing, pretending they don’t exist. Your feelings are your SatNav, they can’t guide you if you ignore or belittle them.


P.S. The Happy Sensitive Library has a bunch of resources on how to deal with difficult emotions

~ Number Nine ~

You can’t fix the world, but you can fix a good meal, or a broken lightbulb.

Fixing those small things also feels good. Plus, it gets you out of your head and focused on what you CAN do (see no. 3).


~ Number Ten ~

That recipe you don’t get tired of eating 3 days in a row.

Some days are like that: the last thing you want to deal with is figuring out what to eat.

(Also make sure you generally have the ingredients for this recipe in your cupboard so you don’t have to run to the shops when you’re already tired)


11. Keep your house clean and organised.

Organising will also give you a sense of control: you get to decide what goes where. If there is a lot of chaos, start with one room, or just one corner.

If you share the space with messy folk, claim one part of your home as your clean sanctuary where no mess is allowed.

This is not about being anal, it’s about walking into a room and feeling you have overview and can relax.


~ Number Twelve ~

You are the center of your own little universe. Even if you tell yourself that you don’t matter because other people matter more, it’s still you doing all that you do for those other people.

Without you the doer being rested and healthy enough to keep doing, you won’t be able to do.

Without you the feeler being rested and relaxed enough to feel well, you won’t be able to inspire others to feel their best either.

Without you the thinker having time to yourself to get your ducks in a row, you won’t be able to make sense of the people and the world around you either.


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