Is Love About Breaking Down Someone’s Walls?

January 21, 2020

  A client had this insight the other day: “I always deep-down assumed that if I kind of locked people out, and then someone would try very hard to break down my defenses, that that meant that they loved me”. It was a profound moment (the quote is my paraphrasing of what she said).   […]

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3 Keys to Thriving as an Empath

January 12, 2020

As an empath you need boundaries, boundaries and more boundaries to thrive. Yet boundaries are probably the thing you are least inclined to develop because you just want to connect, you love being in the flow, you don’t want to upset anyone and you don’t want to exclude anyone who feels lonely, sad or abandoned. […]

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What are the Differences between Highly Sensitive People and Empaths?

December 28, 2019

The easiest way to think about the differences is to think of “empaths” as a smaller subset of “Highly Sensitive People”. This is not 100% accurate, but good enough as a rule of thumb. So, both empaths and HSPs have a more sensitive nervous system. Both pick up on more subtle cues from people. The […]

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If the Nine-Nine was a Life Coaching Center

December 21, 2019

  This is what happens when you’re me and you watch your fourth-or-so Netflix rerun of the sitcom (nay, Life Advice Show) Brooklyn Nine-Nine. You see the light and identify:   30+ reasons to schedule a coaching session at the Nine-Nine. Because sometimes the best Heist, is getting on a coaching call.     Wait, […]

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Are You Feeling Completely Stuck?

December 7, 2019

  Sometimes you can be doing all the right things. And yet, no matter how much you try, no matter how much expert advice you follow, it’s like you keep getting thrown into the same stuck place. Every single time. You get stuck. Feel frozen in the same creepy Groundhog Day scenario. Jammed into the same […]

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Why Popular Empath Tools Make Your Overwhelm, Exhaustion and Confusion Worse

November 25, 2019

Google and you will find. Or at least, you’ll find something. I think it’s great that people want to help each other and share tools and processes. What is not so great is when those tools and processes are ineffective, badly explained, or not suited to the problem at hand.   “But why is this […]

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Extroverted? Here are 9 Tips on how to be Quiet and Reflective (and more intuitive!)

November 1, 2019

This article started as a “sure, why not?” response to the tweet below… Just once I’d like to see an article like “Extroverted? Here’s Some Tips on How to Be Quiet and Reflective” https://t.co/jOhLJKZuT3 — Tom & Lorenzo (@tomandlorenzo) August 29, 2019   I fired off one tweet to start: I have a tip. I […]

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Are Negative Emotions Bad for Your Health?

October 22, 2019

A little while back, I received this comment over email: “I keep being told that  negative emotions put stress on the body and the cells.  That I need to think positive or I won’t heal!  Then I get scared and add another emotion.” Sigh, I wish people would stop saying that. Especially people who consider […]

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12 Habits to Avoid Misery and Feel Better

October 17, 2019

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the world, you’re not alone. Sadly, (too) many HSP forums and articles focus on how terrible the state of the world is, as a kind of “reason why” there is no way out of feeling bad. Even worse, a lot of people seem to suggest (reading between the lines) that […]

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3 Big Causes of HSP Overwhelm: Stress, Bullies, Energy

September 17, 2019

  In my work, there are 3 big causes of HSP overwhelm that I see – and they have nothing to do with whether the world is HSP-friendly or not. Overwhelm Source No 1: Stress   I know stress sounds generic. “Oh, you’re just stressed” is the “whatever” of the 21st century. But, most of […]

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Psychic Narcissism: when inner emptiness leads to psychic stealing

May 27, 2019

  What can be better than dealing with narcissists? Dealing with narcissists who have super powers. For sure. ahem.   I’ve written a lot about narcissism on this site + created a programme to free HSPs from the toxic responsibility-binds with narcissistic people, and for a while, that’s all I thought there was to it. […]

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Core Differences Between Empaths and Other People Who are Sensitive to Energy

May 15, 2019

If you’ve been reading my articles for a while, you know that I care a lot about the many subtle and technical distinctions between many kinds of sensitivity. Why? Because depending on the underlying mechanisms of your sensitivity the solution you need will be radically different. You could compare it so something everyday like feeling […]

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Three Big Problems with Ungrounded Spirituality

May 2, 2019

Ungrounded spirituality is sadly very common. A lot of people, when they think of spirituality, new age topics, energy healing and such, their first association is “oh no, all that airy-fairy stuff!”. And unfortunately, for the most part, they are correct. This is not because spiritual, psychic and energy healing topics are in and of […]

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What are Energy Vampires or Emotional Vampires Really? Beyond the hype

March 31, 2019

I see the topic of emotional vampires or energy vampires come up SO much now in articles, books, videos. It’s everywhere! Yet, what I also see is that in discussing this topic, a lot of different things get mashed together into one big blob of “aaargh, it’s toxic!” and that is not helpful, for anyone. […]

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The Trouble with Instant Connections

March 21, 2019

Instant connections can feel like the most magical thing in the world, right? You meet someone and something just clicks. You don’t even know what it is exactly. I mean, you barely know this person! But you just feel connected somehow. If only all of life could be so easy! When we feel an instant […]

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Two Big Reasons Why Being “Too Sensitive” is Completely Beside the Point

March 14, 2019

Other people need to stop telling you that you’re too sensitive – but they won’t. So, what’s left to do? You need to stop telling yourself that you’re too sensitive. Because those are the things that really hurt: the things that others say, that match what we feel deep down inside. If you truly didn’t […]

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5 Ways to Deal with Your Feelings Without Having To

February 28, 2019

There are a lot of ways of dealing with your feelings without actually dealing with them. Let me count the ways!     1 – Suppressing them   You seal them in a tiny black box and never look at them again. The problem? They’re still there. It’s like taking all your bills and dumping […]

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Why Awareness Won’t Solve Your Overwhelm Problems

January 17, 2019

I hear a lot of people talk about awareness. Awareness is a good thing. But what exactly does it mean to “be aware”? Being aware can be as basic as “I know this thing is happening, I am aware!”. It can even go as far as “I know when this thing is happening! I am […]

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How to Figure out What you Want as an HSP

December 13, 2018

One of the blocks to knowing what you want is often a voice that sounds like: “but other people need me to be X” “there is no time for me to figure out what I want, I have too many responsibilities!”, or even: “my head is filled with what other people want, what I think […]

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Five Common Misunderstandings About Empaths

October 24, 2018

1. I am intuitive, I know things about people… therefore I am an empath. Nope. There are different ways to “know” things. There are different forms of intuition and psychic abilities, being an empath is just one of those options. Empaths feel energy. Other psychic gifts can be connected to different senses: knowing things, somehow. […]

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