Narcissistic Love versus Unconditional Love

August 10, 2012

Anyone with a giving persona, and a desire to help others, attracts narcissists. You give, they take. It’s a match made in heaven  hell. It’s an utterly confusing dynamic, not least because it’s so surreal. One of the keys to sanity is understanding that, when it comes to love, narcissists come from a completely different […]

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Do You Feel Heard? Why & How it Helps to Listen to Yourself First

June 22, 2012

Just as it takes courage to really hear what someone else is saying, it also takes courage to listen to ourselves. It takes saying NO to a lot of distractions, to clear a space, daily, in which we can actually hear ourselves. A space in which our own voices and needs don’t get drowned out […]

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Are You the Sensitive Friend or the Sensitive Therapist? 8 Tips for Clarity on HSP Relationships

April 23, 2012

As sensitive people, we tend to be pretty good at intuiting what others need and what is bothering them. This makes us the ideal person to turn to when things are tough and/or confusing. Since we often enjoy having deep conversations (and might even be relieved that we don’t have to wade through an onslaught […]

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Why Self-Care is About Knowing (your inner cat) Better

April 10, 2012

I was reminded of a big truth today. The past couple of years, I’ve discovered over and over again how I do “know better” when it comes to myself. Let me explain what I mean by that in the way all cat owners explain life’s wisdom. My cat (and I’m sure he’s not alone) loves […]

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Safe Space for Sensitives: the prerequisite for change

March 25, 2012

  As a Highly Sensitive person, it probably takes you longer to get used to new things. There are just so many subtleties to process! So when you are faced with a lot of newness, having the old and familiar handy can be a life saver. The ugly sweater you never really liked can become […]

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Carnaval Challenge: Two questions to reverse your life (if only for a day) + pdf + video

February 19, 2012

Carnaval is in town. Noise, booze and lots of people doing the-same-kind-of-crazy. Essentially and historically though, carnaval (at least here in Limburg, the southern province of the Netherlands) is about creative role reversal. The mayor hands over the ‘keys of the city’ to the people. The people choose their own ruler(s) amongst themselves and they….do […]

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Inviting the New

January 25, 2012

Do you wish that in some ways your life would be different? If so, you might have hears this before: “To create positive change we need to choose the unfamiliar.” “We need to choose the new to have the new.” Yep, sure, but how?? Let’s zoom in on that.   How to create an opening […]

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On Pushers and Sensitives: the way forward

January 14, 2012

There are different ways in life to get things done. One way is to push. This is the way of The Pushers. The Pushers’ Way is this:   When people don’t do what you want, you push them. When you’re not getting the results you want, you push harder (yourself and/or others). When you don’t know […]

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Why Soothing our Senses and Quieting our Mind is Essential for HSPs: 8 Tips to Prevent System Crash

January 8, 2012

As Highly Sensitive People (and this applies to Empaths too) we are continually processing a lot of sensory information. We notice more, see more, hear more, feel more etc. etc. etc. When this gift goes wild, it can really drive us quite mad. If we don’t, information overload can lead to feelings of fear, anxiety […]

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Cheer for You

December 31, 2011

Sometimes, struggling with sensitivity is one of those areas. It’s important to believe in ourselves, knowing we’ll get there, as long as we keep cheering for ourselves.   Cheer for you, the way you would cheer for a toddler   Stumbling, faltering, making a mess.   Cheer for you, knowing that,   When you keep cheering, one […]

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Creating Space for Change (2): Winterwalk

December 29, 2011

It all starts with space. And awareness allows us to take steps to change anything that isn’t working for us. Wherever we go, we take our (busy) mind with us. So, unless we are already pretty relaxed, doing nothing or doing something very mellow can actually feel more ‘busy’ and stressful than not taking a […]

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Creating Space for Change (1)

December 27, 2011

Change starts with space. And awareness allows us to start changing anything that isn’t working for us. (It’s not the end-all be-all though!)   Here is the basic formula: Space => awareness of your own problems => new insights => potential for change Right off the bat you’ll also notice that creating space first leads […]

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Rethinking Regrets (Using Bus Stops)

December 22, 2011

I sometimes catch myself thinking: “in retrospect, such and such that I did then wasn’t so useful. A waste of time and money” And once I start down that track, I can usually think of many many ways in which these activities were a waste of time and money. How silly. Really. Silly because, would […]

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Essential Boundaries for HSPs and Empaths: Keeping Track of Your Own Well-Being

December 13, 2011

  For both Highly Sensitive People and Empaths, one of the most difficult things to do is to say NO to people who need help or plain want our attention. And so, for a while, we don’t say no. That is, until we start to notice how negatively that is affecting us.     By […]

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The Beauty of Asking for Help

December 9, 2011

Yesterday, an old lady came out of her house calling “sister, sister”. She was addressing me. Yet, I do NOT live in the Bronx or anywhere else where such a form of address could be normal. Here it only refers to nuns. I was standing on the pavement, looking at this old lady as she […]

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10 Smart Ways to Make Organic Food Affordable

November 29, 2011

I eat mostly organic food. As a sensitive person, I notice the difference. I feel better when I eat food that has been given time to grow and NOT been sprayed with crap. It also makes a lot more sense, intellectually, sustainably, how-things-workably. I’ve often been asked: “Isn’t that (VERY) expensive???”. It depends. Basically, my […]

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The Highly Sensitive Professor: Academic Guidelines for Overwhelm-Free Living

November 13, 2011

Do you also feel we are expected to have an opinion on EVERYTHING? No matter how little we know about something, we are still expected to have a point of view. What’s more, we are bombarded by other people’s points of view. Talk about information overload! Information overload is the last thing we sensitives need. […]

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The Happy Sensitive Painter: Therapy Art versus Inspirational Art

November 6, 2011

There are many reasons why I dropped out of art school. One of them was that more and more, it felt like group therapy with unwilling and unqualified therapists. Don’t get me wrong. Yet, once that “flow” is activated, it will also take you to places you don’t necessarily know how to handle. Years ago […]

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Squash the Silver Healing Bullet

October 24, 2011

Getting through to our inner despair often requires a silver bullet. A message so extremely smooth, shiny and convincing that it penetrates the walls of doubt, fear and self-sabotage. Of course, after the initial exciting pang, nothing much happens, and we’re back to square one. The Healing “Market” has discovered the use of exaggerated advertising. […]

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Anger (Abstinence?), Boundary Setting and the Spiritual Dilemma of the Good Person

October 11, 2011

I’ve had a real struggle with anger. For the longest time, I couldn’t really be angry. I didn’t know what it felt like to be truly angry. Some people told me this was because I was a vegetarian (at the time). That “eating meat makes you angry”…or something like that. Some people said it was […]

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