On Pushers and Sensitives: the way forward

by Caroline van Kimmenade

There are different ways in life to get things done. One way is to push. This is the way of The Pushers. The Pushers’ Way is this:
  • When people don’t do what you want, you push them.
  • When you’re not getting the results you want, you push harder (yourself and/or others).
  • When you don’t know how to proceed, you go and look for something to push. (if you can’t find anything, push yourself!)

Pushing is actually a very popular method, held in high esteem. Pushers are muscly and powerful (they need to be, in order to push all day). They are dominant and decisive, straightforward and clear (“just push!”). Limitations? Push through them. Fatigue? Push through it. Confused? Stop dawdling and start pushing! Go go go and go!

Pushers are very predictable. They will always push. One thing pushers do not like is to sit down and listen. To anything, anyone, or even themselves. They don’t need to listen, they already know what needs doing: more pushing! Duh!

So, why am I bringing this up?

However, as a sensitive, you have a very different way to get things done at your disposal, that is much more in line with your being. You have the ability to listen. To hear the best way to move forward, to hear the little illogical steps that will get you to your goal. To hear the right times to act and the right times to wait. This is a very different way to act indeed. Needless to say, Pushers don’t like it much.

So, chances are high, that as a senstive person you will have had some kind of conflict with a pusher. Here are some ways you might have experienced that conflict:

  • Not being left alone to figure out your next step (the other person keeps….pushing you)
  • Being ridiculed and branded as “lacking in perseverance” just because you felt it necessary to study the situation first, before doing something.
  • Not being believed when you achieve wonderful results. (After all, there are no obvious push-marks, so what have you got to show for your achievement? you’re not even tired!)

The solution? Let them push, but don’t let them push you. (And if they won’t leave you alone, give them something bigger to push. Bigger is better to a pusher, because it requires more pushing!)

P.S. If you’re thinking: “Oh no, I am Sensitive AND a Pusher!” then chances are you’ve been taught to be one, and it is not working too well for you. Start listening for that other way to do things…


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