The AND Strategy

This article came at such a *perfect* time for me! I’ve been struggling with relationship issues between myself and 3 different girlfriends (all at the same time, no less – can we say “overwhelmed”?!), and wondering what to do with each of them. As an HSP/partial empath, AND a Bigger Picture type, I normally seek to do the “rightest” thing possible for all concerned. (while others go blithely about, stepping on toes and acting decidedly self-serving…ugh) But it’s often such an exercise in frustration, and so very exhausting, yet I still feel *compelled* to tackle these issues in my own, broader way. To make matters worse, my spouse is definitely a “black and white,” either/or, totalitarian, AND non-empathetic type, so usually favours the “just dump ’em then” approach, making my decision-making process all the more agonizing should I ask for his opinion when I’m feeling conflicted.

So while I’ve just made some decisions and took some action on how I wanted to handle at least 2 of the 3 gf issues so far, reading your article immediately after the fact has done some very key things for me:
– validated how intricate finding a good balance can be in working through such dilemmas.
– validated how I’m not alone in wanting to consider every conceivable ‘angle’ I possibly can, and that I’m NOT wasting my precious time in doing so.
– letting me know I don’t need to beat myself up for seeming to be “indecisive” as I try to integrate an “all of the above” approach, i.e., it’s OKAY to use it ALL and not be forced into feeling there’s something “wrong” with me just because I don’t fit the usual rigid (and yes, I’d agree, often “brutal”) lines of handling things!
– and perhaps most importantly of all, this is another one of those vital “giving oneself permission” approaches I’ve found so invaluable for all manner of emotionally-charged yet also cognitive challenges in life, and for building self-acceptance and self-trust.

A brilliant piece, Caroline! Thank you so much!!

PS. I also just love your uber-creative, playful, and most amusing “verifying” system prior to posting – SO much fun!