Happy Sensitive Foundations

As a Highly Sensitive Sensation Seeker you can end up zigzagging between the introvert world of quiet, and the extrovert world of adventure.

The standard relaxation tips to calm down and take it easy only work for you up to a point, because you get bored! But you know that when you go for what you want, you tend to crash and burn.

  • In the long run, this can lead to a lot of stress. So much so that you can get tired and frazzled and feel like you’re always fighting with yourself.
  • It can even lead to severe adrenal fatigue (chronic fatigue) – the kind where you have lots of ideas about what you want to do but your body just doesn’t have the energy to make it happen.
  • Your intuition can feel like no help because while you might have some helpful insights about all this, in your day to day, those insights get lost in the shuffle and they don’t provide enough practical nitty-gritty guidance.

 

You need a way to both calm down and have the energy to go after what you want. Wait, what? But how?

I feel you! I used to struggle with this immensely. I did all the right things: healthy food, working out, meditation, spending time with friends and having alone time… but I still got frazzled. And in 2009 I even burned out completely (couldn’t work, could barely get out of bed). Not fun at all! (understatement of the year) So I know how important it is to manage your energy expertly, and where not having those skills can lead…

Yet, that was also the kick-in-the-pants for me to develop a system that allowed me to get out ahead of the overwhelm, and prevent it from happening again.

Then I started teaching other HSPs what I’d learned and I discovered that this system helps other HSPs manage their overwhelm too. Read More

When I burned out. Nobody understood why, least of all me!

People told me to just rest, it would get better! But it didn’t. The problem was, I needed to build my energy back up from nothing. Yet, just resting made me bored and anxious, and doing something fun quickly led to overdoing it!

I started to realise that this was going to be more complicated than people said. I also started to realise that this was a problem that I’d always had. I’d never been given a way to truly understand my needs and limits from the inside out. In my attempts to live a fun and healthy lifestyle, I was essentially copying what worked for other people, and it got me nowhere.

That’s not an easy thing to own. Especially when you’re smart and accomplished and you’re used to figuring things out. Yet I came to realise over time that the combination of being Highly Sensitive and a Sensation Seeker is a tough combination to come to terms with. It’s like you’re doing an acrobatic split between your own extremes.

Then, on top of that, you have the extroverted people who think you’re just shy or depressed when you’re tired, so they’ll push you to do more. And on the other hand there are the introverted types who think you are always overdoing it.

What they don’t get is that you are both. You need a life that suits both of these sides of you, not a life that glorifies one and shuts down the other.

Only a very small percentage of the population is both  Highly Sensitive and a Sensation Seeker. So it’s not like there is a long list of people who get this, let alone who can explain this to you.

In the end, I wish I had learned all this sooner! I had sure had plenty of “mini burn outs” leading up to my big one! It’s just that they were small enough to kind of stumble my way out of. It took a big crash to force me to really sit down and figure out why I kept crashing in the first place.

The good news? I only had to figure this out for myself once, and I still use those insights to manage my energy successfully to this day! This is how I can be Highly Sensitive and also run an online business, which comes with plenty of stress and challenges. When push comes to shove, I know exactly what I need to do to stay both calm enough and also inspired.

In a culture where doing, going, bigger, faster, better, toughness, pushing through etc. is applauded, being an HSP can be daunting, discouraging, scary and lonely. Working with Caroline has changed my perspective. I now see my sensitivity as a gift, even an honor to posses. As such, it deserves a certain amount of respect and care and Caroline has shown me that as well. My life has not gotten easier. Instead, Caroline has shown me that I had a toolbox within me all along to help me when things get tough. And where I didn’t have the tools already, she loaned me some so that I wouldn’t be without. As one who has always believed that everything happens for a reason, I now see an even greater sense of purpose in every circumstance and encounter. I see that I have an opportunity to know myself deeper and to offer more of my gifts in every situation. Ultimately, Caroline has shown me that all I needed all along lay right within me and she opened my eyes to see in a whole new way. I am, truly, beyond grateful..Nikki, California

 

 

Being Highly Sensitive, you’re likely pretty intuitive. You might have been winging it for a while and chances are, you like doing things based on how they feel… This is where I am going to challenge you.

You see, in many ways, being tuned in to how things feel right now, does not help you predict how things will affect you going forward. The thing that’s been making you seesaw from couch to adventure and from energy highs to energy lows, is the lack of a way to measure what will work for you.

In the end, it’s not that mysterious! Yet it does take learning a whole new way of looking at stress, and doing the right observation exercises that will give you the data we need to develop your own self-care model.

That’s what Happy Sensitive Foundations is about. This programme will give you a system, a structure to use.

We will gather the data and build the “what to do” model that lets you:

  • Know in advance what to say yes to and what to say no to, because you can predict what you can happily handle well.
  • Achieve things you haven’t been able to before because you’ll learn how to set it up right to suit your HSP & Sensation Seeking nature.
  • Know exactly what you need to do to recharge and recover as quickly as possible when life throws you a curveball
  • Put in place the right relaxation practices for you. These are the things that naturally help you, not the things you’ve been trying to get into that are “supposed” to be good for you.

 

This means that:

  • you can stop last-minute bailing on people (or going anyway and overtiring yourself)
  • you can stop beating yourself up for not being able to get your work-life-play-everything balance right
  • you can do high intensity adventures without crashing afterwards
  • you can tell other people what you actually need, because you will finally know!

 

Because who ever said that the natural Yin Yang of HSP / Sensation Seeker wasn’t kinda awkward at first?

To get this figured out, a lot of things can get in your way. Here are three common sensation seeker traps:

1. But…”I just want to be normal!” Read More

Many of us were shamed a lot for being Highly Sensitive and being different. If this is you then those messages will end up sabotaging you. Those messages probably push you to be “normal” a lot. Yet, every time you try to be “normal” and follow what works for other people, you’ll end up stressing yourself out because you’re going against how you’re naturally wired.

In Happy Sensitive Foundations you’ll learn how to identify and heal these inner “you’re too sensitive” messages so that they stop making you feel bad and stop interfering with the life you’re meant to live.

2. But… “I don’t want to upset anyone”Read More

In order to make the kinds of decisions that are true to who you are, you will need to handle some conflicts. Many HSPs shy away from conflicts of any kind and especially with those who are near and dear. Yet, if you try to keep the peace, smoothe things over and people-please at all costs, then you won’t get what you need to live a happy and healthy life within your own natural limits.

Don’t worry though, not wanting to make anyone angry or upset is something I work on with many clients. There are plenty of ways to take baby steps and learn to be compassionate, present and assertive so that you can negotiate what is important to you without hurting anyone unnecessarily.

3. But…”I think I just need to do more fun things somehow”Read More

The “I like this, I don’t like that” model of assessing things will do very little to help you effectively manage stress. It’s a mistake to think that the solution is just to pile on more fun stuff.

In Happy Sensitive Foundations you’ll learn how to assess activities based on how it will impact your nervous system. Being Highly Sensitive means having a more sensitive nervous system. You need to have a way to assess what affects your nervous system and why. Without this understanding, you’ll end up running around in circles, doing all the “right things” to take care of yourself, and get stressed, anxious or tired anyway.

I’ve developed a really detailed system to help you really “get” the difference between what you think is right for you, versus what will actually feel good in the long run.

 

To get all this figured out, it’s important to know what exactly will work for you and where you personally get stuck. These are not answers that I have in a magical crystal ball of course!

To get results and figure this out for you, we will be working together. I will bring my empathic listening, guided healing exercises, and questions and assignments to get you to hone in on the things that will make a difference in your life.

Your job will be to pay attention. I will be asking you in lots of different ways to pay attention and keep track of how things affect you, what you’re thinking and feeling throughout the day and what solutions that we come up with work best for you.

My goal for you is that after a year of working together:

  • You will really understand how your own nervous system a.k.a. stress response system works.
  • You will know how you can stay balanced and avoid falling into extremes of stress or boredom.
  • You’ll also know how to keep tweaking and improving your current self-care system. After all, five years down the road, your life may look really different and you may need to re-assess some of your self-care strategies. With the information from Happy Sensitive Foundations, you’ll be able to do just that.

 

In this audio, I introduce the 4 pillars that are the foundations for your self-care system:

The framework I find very useful.  I can look at it when I am feeling off and clearly see which area I have not been paying attention to.  For instance, my vision – am I connected to my vision?  It provides a clear solution, a clear direction. Chirin, Texas

 

It has been a great journey where managing my energy has probably been the highlight, but adding the part of vision and transformation has definately been the difference from running around like a rat in a cage waiting for the next melt down, to now feel more in charge of my life and what I want to do with it.Rosanna, Spain

This is a Year Long Programme:

  • We’ll have 8 coaching calls of 90 minutes. Calls take place over skype, phone or my conference line (we can do online video calls or you can dial in over the phone).
  • There is also one Healing Intensive. This is a 5-hour call that allows us to go deep into a particular topic that is important for your well-being. (it’s 5 hours max, including breaks)
  • Inbetween sessions I’m available over email to respond to questions and dilemmas that may come up for you.
  • With the programme, you’ll receive an extensive workbook with explanations and exercises. This way, we won’t waste valuable coaching time on information that is easier to process written down. Plus, you’ll have clear, guided exercises to work with inbetween coaching sessions. These are important to get the most out of your sessions.
the workbook material has been very helpful to give the process structure (which i need to thrive) and the way she explains things makes it very easy to understand the reason behind every step, which for me is also very importantRosanna, Spain

Programme Cost

Your investment for this programme is 1800 euros. You can also pay in 9 monthly installments of 200 euros.

 

Extra option, For the woo-woo friendly :)

Read More
If you have a lot of old tricky stuckness and you’d like some additional support, it’s also possible to purchase an additional Healing Pack of 12 long-distance healing sessions (one a month) to help you let go of old emotional and mental blocks and deeply wired stress responses.

In these sessions, I will do a long distance healing where I check for suppressed energies and let those go. Clients have said these are like energy massages, where, depending on how sensitive you are, you can really feel the changes as they are happening.

This additional Healing Pack is 800 euros and includes an email report of what was released each session.

the healing felt gentle, deep and nourishing and the report is very straight forward and revealing. I can also add that from the day following the healing I felt a noticeable change in my energy, feeling lighter, more whole and significantly more settled in myself. I can begin to feel a new sense of confidence emerging. I also found that some physical niggles such as a stiff lower back are considerably eased.Mary, Scotland.

Sound like what you need?

If you’re excited about this programme, please fill out the questionnaire below (doing so will help me assess whether this programme is a good match for your current needs and it will help me tailor coaching from the very start!)

If I think this programme could or would be a good fit for what you’re looking for, I’ll invite you for a free call to answer any questions you may have, discuss details, and say hi:


 

FAQ

A year sounds like a long time. Also, I’d like to have more regular sessions for accountability.

Read More
If you wish to push your calls closer together you can. However, you’ll find that we cover a lot of ground in each call. The time between calls is where the rubber meets the road: you may have the most amazing insights on a coaching call, but unless you can actually apply those insights in your day to day life, they are little more than an idea-high.

This is why I recommend having one call a month. That way, you have time inbetween calls to really implement new ideas, as well as practice observing how things affect you. This way, the strategies we come up with will address where you are truly at (not where you think you are at, or wish you were at)

Making actual day-to-day changes takes time. Doing so gently and slowly guarantees the best results because it’s the most stress-free way to do it. Plus, after a year of doing something differently, you can be sure it will stick. Compare that to an intense 6-week programme that pushes you into a diffent groove but that is hard to stick with after that. I know quick results are awesome, but we’re talking about some pretty deep changes here. Slow and steady is the way to go.

I don’t like the idea of systems and data and measuring things. I’d rather do things intuitively!

Read More
I hear you! And we’ll be calling on your intuition for plenty of things. However, a big problem for HSP Sensation Seekers is a kind of “go with the fun flow”, the way a toddler might. As an adult, you can be watching that toddler and know the fun won’t last. It’s too much and in 3, 2, 1 it will be “weeeeeh, mommy!!”

I’m not saying you’re a toddler. Yet, the enthusiasm of toddlers is awesome, right? Nevertheless, toddlers need their parents to give them safe and helpful limits. Without that, they’d be running around and crashing into things all the time.

In a way, our inner High Sensation seeker has some toddler traits. Nobody ever explained to us how to develop really supportive rules for that part of us. So that part of us can run wild, feel misunderstood and doesn’t have the support she needs, or shuts down completely. Re-parenting that part of you means learning some new rules and keeping an eye on data. Every good parent knows their kids’ limits. In a way, they’re eyeing the clock going: “oooh, they’re all exited now, but they missed their nap and they’re going to crash any minute now and cry their eyes out… let’s try to get this kiddo into bed and avoid all that drama…” How do parents know? They do some basic counting. They know how many hours their kiddo can last without breaking down. That is the kinds of data I’m talking about. In Happy Sensitive Foundations, we’re going to work on you knowing your own numbers: how much, how long, under which circumstances can you handle things well.

Numbers are awesome because they help you plan. Feeling your way around is a lot of work, and it’s exhausting if you keep getting it wrong.

What is the Healing Intensive? Why is it called a Healing Intensive?

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It’s called an Intensive because we’ll be spending max. 5 hours together (including breaks). That’s a long time! Having so much time allows us to pick something complex and potentially deep that keeps getting in your way. We’ll be able to spend some significant time unraveling that issue, as well as doing healing exercises to gain more insight and let go of old hurt that keeps sabotaging you.

Some of my clients don’t like the idea of such a long session. They worry it will be too much, or they just prefer the regular coaching format. If this is you, then that is totally fine. You can also “trade in” your Healing Intensive for 2 regular 90 minute coaching calls.

But wait, how is all this different from a mindfulness practice or going to yoga regularly?

Read More
We get flooded with “rules” about how to live a happy healthy life, but has anyone ever sat down with you to help you get really clear on what works for you personally?

Once you start to do a little digging, things can get complicated quick. Maybe you love yoga, but how come you can’t always get into it? Or how come it’s really helpful for you sometimes, and other times you wish you’d done something else?

Your body has multiple pathways through which you can get excited and also stressed, and they are all happening at once! In Happy Sensitive Foundations, we map out a way for you to understand the different things that influence you each day, and how to know which thing is going to feel good and which thing is going to bring you out of balance.

I hate routines, will this programme work for me?

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I hate a lot of routine too, because it’s boring! Yet, I’ve also found that some routine is helpful to have (You eat 3 meals a day – or something close – right?). So if you don’t want to have any kind of routine at all, I will encourage you to develop some.

However, my understanding of routines will be much more flexible than what you’re probably thinking of right now. I think of routines more like helpful patterns that you can use to get things done more easily, but you can move those patterns around and switch out the elements in them. They are like building blocks for your day really and the most important thing is that you learn how to figure out which blocks are going to be most fun and useful for you that day.

The goal is not to develop a lot of magic discipline to stick to a strict routine. I don’t do that either, so who would I be to teach that?

You mention observation exercises and that sounds like a lot of work.

Read More
All new things take more work and effort at first. To get results from this programme, you will need to make an effort and learn and practice some new things. However, you’ll be amazed at how quickly these “exercises” become a 3-second way to just check in with yourself and notice how you’re doing.

The only reason I need to teach you to do this in the form of special exercises at all, is because you probably spend a ton of time automatically focusing on what other people need and what is going on around you. As a result, you don’t automatically notice what is going on with you. So that’s where the exercises come in. However, over time you’ll develop a habit of checking in with yourself and it will stop being like a special exercise.

If you already have a habit of checking in with yourself then that’s great too. That means that all you’ll need to add to that is knowing what exactly to pay attention to in order to get the most results.

How do I explain this to my partner?

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Well, it depends on what your partner is into, but here’s a few different ways to explain it:

“Honey, you know how I get stressed a lot and then I have no idea how to calm down? Or how I sign up for things but then I need to cancel because I’m overwhelmed? Or I’m scared to try things because I worry I’ll get overwhelmed? Well, this programme is going to teach me how to understand my own needs and limits so that I can plan efficiently and realistically, based on what’s actually possible for me”

“Well, the lady who runs the website says that being Highly Sensitive is like having a really cool car, but you never took any driving lessons, so you end up doing whatever. And so you give too much gas, and then you break really hard, and the whole experience just becomes kind of jarring instead of a smooth driving experience. She’s going to teach me how to drive well so I can enjoy the driving and can actually get places efficiently, instead of getting stuck in a ditch by the road or going over the speed limit all the time.”

 

What other people have said about this programme:

I am highly sensitive and I wrote to Caroline because I had been struggling for years with some big troubles in my life : fatigue, depression, not feeling “normal”, feeling like I couldn’t “make it” like others could, and not feeling understood. I was thinking about making big changes in my personal life but couldn’t seem to really take decisions.

I’m really happy that I worked with Caroline this past year, first because of her personal qualities, she is really tactful, nice, really able to listen and, well, sensitive..! It’s a great pleasure to talk with her and it’s a big help to make progress. As I can’t speak English well enough, I had to speak French (my mother tongue) during the calls ; fortunately Caroline understands me well and talks in English, that works well.

I think that just being able to talk with someone who really gets (better than I) what it means to be highly sensitive brought me much relief. Thanks to the work we did together, I was able to be much more calm through big changes in my life (1 st pregnancy)… And I have been able to make many small changes that make a big difference (staying in touch with my feelings instead of focusing only on the other person, daring to say no, thinking of myself in a different, as somebody who has as much the right to exist as anybody else). I have still a long way to go because I’ve been struggling for a very long time, but I’m very grateful for the progress I made so far, and I’m hopeful that I will get even better in the future. This is so very important, especially when raising a (maybe highly sensitive) baby daughter…Thank you Caroline !Aurélie, France. Happy Sensitive Foundations (she spoke French to me and I spoke English back)

 

After finding out that I am HSP and looking through the internet, I found out the webpage of Caroline. I loved the name and the posts and her energy resonated greatly with me.

I refused to the idea that being sensitive would throw me to a world of sadness and stress (as it had often been the case so far) and Caroline has proved to be the best person to work with. After a period of my life where I suffered from great emotional stress and where I was totally stuck in my life, I decided to sign up for the Happy Sensitive Foundation Programme. She is very knowledgeable and has a great ability to contact with your emotions and guides you so you are able to manage them.

Also the workbook material has been very helpful to give the process structure (which i need to thrive) and the way she explains things makes it very easy to understand the reason behind every step, which for me is also very important.

After a year working with Caroline I have changed totally the way I see my sensitivity. I have gone from ignoring it or wanting to change it to fit the norm, to embrace it and include it to my “super powers” kit. Accepting it has been of great importance, but knowing how to manage this super power effectively has been an enormous relief. It is of course a life-long learning journey but I feel I have learned powerful tools to keep practising on my own.

It has been a great journey where managing my energy has probably been the highlight, but adding the part of vision and transformation has definately been the difference from running around like a rat in a cage waiting for the next melt down, to now feel more in charge of my life and what I want to do with it.

To know that I am not the only person dealing with it and that I can have a good life if I take care of my specific needs has been very calming and reassuring.

I would recommend this Programme to everybody who wants to take their sensitivity to the next level. Who wants to use it effectively and not feel it like a burden. I guarantee that you’ll start seeing life as you probably did once or as you know it should feel like: fantastic!Rosanna, Spain.

In a culture where doing, going, bigger, faster, better, toughness, pushing through etc. is applauded, being an HSP can be daunting, discouraging, scary and lonely. Working with Caroline has changed my perspective. I now see my sensitivity as a gift, even an honor to posses. As such, it deserves a certain amount of respect and care and Caroline has shown me that as well. My life has not gotten easier. Instead, Caroline has shown me that I had a toolbox within me all along to help me when things get tough. And where I didn’t have the tools already, she loaned me some so that I wouldn’t be without. As one who has always believed that everything happens for a reason, I now see an even greater sense of purpose in every circumstance and encounter. I see that I have an opportunity to know myself deeper and to offer more of my gifts in every situation. Ultimately, Caroline has shown me that all I needed all along lay right within me and she opened my eyes to see in a whole new way. I am, truly, beyond grateful.Nikki, California

 

Working with Caroline has been awesome.  She is phenomenal.  Her framework is phenomenal.  She has given me a bucket full of permission slips to just be, to be okay being me.  I have permission to change my mind at the last minute based on how I am feeling and what my body needs in that moment without needing to apologize for taking care of myself.

The framework I find very useful.  I can look at it when I am feeling off and clearly see which area I have not been paying attention to.  For instance, my vision – am I connected to my vision?  It provides a clear solution, a clear direction.  And hope.  Heaps of hope that I can gain skill. Hearing Caroline’s story is very inspiring.  It leaves me filled with hope that I too can become skilled at working with my own beautiful sensitivity so that I can reap the benefits and live an inspired life.

I think the biggest thing that sticks with me is just the support.  Her very clear, practical, unrefutable description of how it all works leaves me with no reference with which to apologize for how I am, and to instead see myself as a gift so that I can take my place in the world. With Caroline’s support, I am standing taller, offering my gifts more freely and more fully, greeting each new day with anticipation, knowing that I have tools, a reference map, a care plan and an advocate when I need one.  And loyal, pragmatic, caring practical support from someone who has been there and has paved a way for us to follow.  I love her and enthusiastically with neon flashing lights recommend her to anyone. I no longer curse the creator or my  mother for giving me what seemed nothing but a liability.  I now feel grateful and empowered to take my place.Chirin, Texas


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